My play observation assignment is submitted. It was a tough one that needed a lot of brain energy and critical thinking. Two more assignments are due by next weekend. One I just need to do a short reflection on yet. And the other one is a group skit in our next Guiding class. Kudos to me!! I'm almost done with round one of the assignments due this term.
Thank you to everyone who has been praying for my mental health and studies. The struggles continue. And i continue to need to push through a lot of brain fog to do my assignments. So today feels like a big win!!
I am hoping that as spring approaches the dark cloud over my mind will lift as well.
The worst of the struggle is when the cloud also darkens my faith: when I read the Bible I wonder if the promises are really true for me right now.
I read Psalm 23 two days ago and I found that
"through the darkest valley" God is with me.
I read that
He "prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
And that
His "goodness and love will follow me ALL the days of my life."
So surely it must include the days when I'm drowning in mental despair and brain fog as well? Surely He must be with me in this valley? It becomes difficult to believe it when I can't feel it.
Is that why last Sunday my pastor emphasized that we KNOW not FEEL that all things work together for good to those who love God?
Probably. Because right now I can't even feel that I love and believe In God. And never mind feeling that He loves me.
Is there anyone else who also questions whether God is with them in the valley? Is there anyone else who feels afraid of God when they are in the dark?
But are there also individuals to whom God is truly a comfort in these moments? If yes, please let me know.
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