I grew up in an environment that loved truth in disproportion to mercy. An environment that focused on outward works more than on the love of God. And for years I held tightly to those standards myself. I judged others by their appearance and lifestyle. Holding others to standards that we believed were God-given mattered more than accepting them with mercy, grace, and understanding. If someone did not live within my box of what I perceived to be true and right, I deemed them fallen away from God.
That was me, until I encountered the tender mercies of God in an intimate, personal experience myself. After years of looking for God in this environment and not finding Him the way my heart needed Him, and the suicidal depression that came with it, I found God in the most unlikely place or way I ever thought I would – in the psychiatric ward of Victoria General Hospital. There it was I found a God that met in the middle of my mess. There I found a God that picked up my shattered world and began putting the pieces together again slowly and gently and who told my heart to beat again. There I found the God in whose grace I am now learning to live freely again.
The last few days I have been thinking about what it really means to live by the grace of God. I have been asking myself whether the grace of God allows me a ticket to live as I want as long as I repent of my sin after committing it. But then I remember Romans six, verses one and two, which say,
“Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?”
And I know that living by grace does not mean I can live a lifestyle that gives itself to every fleshly desire repeatedly without any sincere heart change.
What then does it mean to live by the grace of God? Does it mean that I need to live a flawless life? One in which I never slip-up. One in which I hold myself to the perfect measure of God’s truth. And nothing less. Well, this would be ideal. But also, unrealistic. And it sounds to me like living by the letter of the law. To me this also implies self-condemnation and self-hatred. Because to be honest, none of us can always do the right thing. Yes, we will try. But we are human.
Here I see the grace of God.
I find it expressed in the beautiful lyrics of the song "Perfectly Loved" written by Rachael Lampa:
Who said that you weren't beautiful?
And that you didn't belong in your own skin?
Who said that you were all alone?
And that you're never gonna find love again?
So many little words, so many little lies
That have followed you all of your life.
Looking for the truth, look into your eyes
And you'll see it's been there the whole time.
Ooh, even when you were running.
Even when you were hiding.
Never been a moment that you were not perfectly loved.
When you barely believed it
When your eyes couldn't see it
Every single moment, you've always been perfectly loved.
Ooh, perfectly loved!
You've always been perfectly…
In the hands of the Infinite
As the wounds of the world became His
See the kindness Heaven has for you
And how He's always been drawing you in
So many open doors, so many miracles
That have followed you all of your life
Looking for the truth, look into your eyes
And you'll see it's been there the whole time
You're not a problem.
You're not a mistake.
Don't need fixing or solving
In the arms of His grace.
You're perfectly human:
Made from the dust
You've got a heart broken and scarred, yet perfectly loved.
Oh, even when you were running.
Even when you were hiding.
Never been a moment that you were not perfectly loved.
When you barely believed it.
When your eyes couldn't see it.
Every single moment, you've always been perfectly loved,
Perfectly loved,
You've always been perfectly loved!
Living by grace to me then means to simply live in the amazing love God has for me. Living from the place of the grace and the love of God allows me to relax, to rest, and to simply live life without any worry, thought, or effort of my own. Because when I love God, I want to do what pleases Him. And that is the beauty of the grace of God. There is no force. There is no restraint.
Add comment
Comments